Let's Play Dress-Up

As October approaches, I usually like to remind my readers of the excitement and fantasy-fun of role playing. The month of October is the perfect time to visit the costume shops and lingerie stores and find that fantasy costume of your partner's dreams. It's a great time to stock up on stockings, wigs, uniforms and costumes of all sorts. But this year, it's not the upcoming Halloween holiday that has spurred my creativity and has me writing this article, it's an event that I participated in over the weekend that has my juices flowing (creatively speaking)

For the past few years, my daughters have introduced me to the world of anime (Japanese animation) At first I thought, "Oh great, they want me to watch cartoons." But anime is far from your American Spongebob, Bugs Bunny and Family Guy. Anime ranges from programs for children to programs for mature adults. Yes, some animes contain humor, but for the most part, Japanese animated programs are serial type programs that are very much adult. The characters are richly developed, the stories are intriguing and the animation is stunning and realistic.

It's easy to see that many animes are geared toward men as the female characters are usually very voluptuous, curvy and endowed with enormous breasts that at times have a mind of their own. However, many of the male characters are also created to look as we all fantasize the way a man should look....rippling muscles, tattoos, flowing hair, piercing eyes and enormous......weapons. And some male characters are created to be romantic, chivalrous and charming....the romance novel hero who sweeps you off your feet and wisks you away to a secluded shack in the forest.

In watching anime of the past few years, I have found myself actually having fantasies about certain male characters. Whether it's the character's look or the storyline, I find myself completely enamoured and drawn into this animated fantasy life. At first, I thought I was weird.....I mean, come on, fantasies about an animated character? However, I learned very quickly that I was not alone. It is quite common to bring anime and fantasy together.

That brings me to this past weekend. For months, I had promised to take my younger daughter to a local anime convention. In addition, we were going to attend in Cosplay. Cosplay is the combination of two words "costume" and "play". Cosplaying is dressing up as a character from a program you enjoy....mostly Japanese animes. We Cosplayed my daughter's choice in animes, which was a program geared toward the younger set. I wrapped myself in a traditional Japanese Yukata, cinched my waist by wrapping an Obi around me 3 times and donning traditional Japanese Getas (wooden sandals) I also had a cherry tree on top of my head.....but that doesn't add anything to the point of this article.

As we entered the event space, as far as the eye could see, were people of all ages dressed as their favorite anime characters. There were girls in very skimpy, lacy dresses, men wearing leather jackets and carrying enormous weapons. It was fun and exciting......and as I say exciting, I mean exciting in an adult sort of way. I found myself checking out the fantasy type costumes of the men, seeing if I recognized any characters. Then I actually starting hoping to see the characters I fantasize about most. I even wondered to myself just how I would react if I were to come face to face with one of my fantasy anime characters brought to real life.

I realized that there was more of an appeal to dressing in Cosplay than the "fun" a child would want to have. For an adult, Cosplaying can be much more than that. Cosplaying is no different from the prelude to bedroom role playing.....but it is done in public. So this act of dressing up that I once believed was just something kids, anime geeks and sci-fi nuts did for giggles, became much more. It was a type of exhibitionism. It was a type of role playing....stepping into a character role and playing it out fully from the clothing down to the pose you strike when someone asks to take your photograph.

Now I'm not saying that this is typical for all Cosplayers....I'm sure many do it just for fun. And I too will do it again....just for fun. But I will continue to look high and low for my dreamy anime hero in black, carrying a huge cello case or the sexy, powerful soul reaper dressed in a black with a huge sword carried across his broad, muscular back. I will keep my fantasies to myself.....for now...and in public. That is, until I find the one who will dress for me and help me fulfill my anime fantasies.

So remember girls and guys.....role playing and dressing up can be alot of fun and extremely arousing. Ask your partner to share their wildest fantasies.....or look around you and figure out what your partner likes....and surprise them. Either way, stepping away from "you" and stepping into another character can open doors that you never imagined. Leave your inhibitions behind and just go wild! After all, you are not "you"....but someone who can be far more demure or far more naughty that "you" ever could be.

The Exercise That Improves Your Orgasm

Who doesn't want better orgasms? But how about stronger, more powerful, earth-shattering orgasms that you can actually control....with no hands? Yes, ladies and gents, there is an exercise that can give you exactly that. But before you grab the gym bag and put on your spandex, listen to this. You can do this exercise anytime, anywhere. As a matter of fact, I am doing the exercise as I type this.

I am sure you have heard of the Kegal exercise and it's benefits. For those of you whom haven't heard...allow me to give you a brief rundown on the Kegal exercise and it's medical benefits. Then we'll discuss the mind-blowing sexual benefits it has for both men and women.

The Kegal exercise is simply tightening and loosening your pelvic muscles. The easiest way to learn how to perform kegal exercises is while you are urinating. Several time during urination, tighten your muscles and stop the flow of urine. Release. Do this several times until you get the hang of it. Once you understand how it feels to tighten the pelvic muscles, you can practice doing Kegal exercises anytime. There are also Kegal exercisers that you can purchase that can help you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles even more.

The Kegal exercise has many medical benefits for women and men. For women, this exercise strengthens the pelvic floor, strengthens the muscles that line the vagina as well as strengthening the muscles the control the bladder. This makes for better vaginal health and prevents incontinence as we age. For men, the Kegal exercise strengthens the prostate, can reduce inflammation from prostate illnesses and also prevents bladder incontinence.

Though all of that sounds pretty mundane and like doctor's office talk, the Kegal exercises can do amazing things for your sex life. Let's start with the men. Simply put, if you master the Kegal exercise, you'll no longer have to think of baseball, balancing the checkbook or your 80 year old neighbor in a thong in order to delay ejaculation. With strong pelvic muscles and control of those muscles, you will be able to maintain a harder, more powerful erection as well as holding back ejaculation and making intercourse last longer. Who doesn't want that? And think about it fellas, a harder, more powerful erection paired with longer intercourse results in a better orgasm for you.

Ladies, the Kegal exercise has even more surprises in store for you. Mastering the Kegal exercise not only makes your vagina tighter and healthier, it will allow you to control your orgasms and actually amp them up, making them more dynamic and powerful. Yes, you can excite him with a little vaginal squeeze here and there, but using your new found vaginal strength can benefit you if you time it just right.

You can practice this on your own, while masturbating, until you get the hang of it. While pleasuring yourself manually (this is one to leave the toys in the drawer) bring yourself to the point of arousal where you are not quite ready to orgasm, yet you know you just can't stop and go back to watching television or vacuuming the carpet. At this point, while still giving yourself clitoral stimulation, start flexing your vaginal muscles. You will feel an increase in stimulation and arousal. Keep trying this off and on until you are on the brink of orgasm. At that time flex your vaginal muscles and hold them as long as you can. As you near orgasm, flex and release, flex and release, flex and release.....until you climax. You'll notice that the flexing seems to bring the orgasm on more quickly. It draws more blood into the labia, clitoris and vagina, making everything much more sensitive. With practice, you can learn to delay your orgasm....building it to a delicious intensity...and release when you are ready. The stronger muscles will also give you an even stronger orgasm.

So ladies and gentlemen in addition to taking care of your health, take care of your sexual health and practice your Kegals. Do your Kegals while cooking dinner, mowing the lawn or while you're on the computer! Your body, and your partner, will thank you!

It's Summer! Take It Outside For An Exciting Change Of Pace!

Ahhhh, summertime! Tan, smoothe bodies, the scent of tropical lotions, the sounds of nature lulling you into total relaxation every night. Here in the midwest, we only get a few precious months of summer warmth and sunshine. That's why this gal recommends taking full advantage of the hot summer days and sizzling summer nights.

Warm weather is the perfect time to break out of your ususal routine and take it outside. Yes, I mean having sex outdoors! Most men find the mere thought of having sex outdoors extremely exciting. It's the combination of the caveman mindset and the idea of being out in the open...where you might be seen. For us ladies, it may not be our dream idea of making love under the stars, but just give it a try and see how much you can make your personal thermometer rise!

Here are some ideas for sizzling, sexy summer fun!

Have your own back yard? Pitch a tent and camp out! Take along some yummy summer fruits, a bottle of chilled wine and an ice bucket. Use the ice to give one another shivers of delight by tracing each other's body curves as the ice slowly melts on warm skin. No tent? No problem! Find a dark spot in your yard and lay down a big, thick blanket. Make love right in the open and under the stars! Don't forget the mosquito repellant! Utilize your outdoor furniture too. A lounge chair, hammock or cushioned patio chair can make for some interesting and exciting love making. Be creative and enjoy the rush!

Water folies! Got a pool? Grab your lover for a one on one "adult swim". Day or night, making love in the swimming pool can be exhilerating! Just remember, this is a big no no if you're using insertable birth control or condoms. Go for a sexy swim and then continue your fun on a big beach towel. And always remember.....deep thrusting in water can drive infection into the pelvic cavity.....so take it slow, sensual and smoothe. After all, most of the fun is getting there! Take your time and have a nice, naked swim together. Day or night, the feel of your partner's wet, nude body against yours can be intoxicating.

Cuddle up to nature. Take a hike in your favorite woodsy park then sneak off the trail for a quickie. Be as descreet as possible though, in some states, this is a felony! Have a mid day picnic and wear a beautiful, flowing sundress....and no panties. Make sure to mention this to him after you've nibbled on your scrumptious picnic fare, that way he can finish his meal while fantasizing about what might happen next. Wearin a sundress sans panties makes it easy to straddle his lap for a cuddle and maybe a little bit more. No one but you two will know what's going on under your dress!

Don't have your own back yard? Offer to house sit for vacationing friends and "borrow" their back yard! If you have access to a balcony or roof top you can create your own romantic space under the stars with soft blankets, tons of pillows and a bottle of your favorite wine or spirits. And there are plenty of camp grounds all over this beautiful country of ours. Buy or borrow a tent and make a weekend of it. Sneak away from the campgrounds and find an out of the way spot in the woods or near a lake.

No matter how you decide to do it, now is the perfect time to take the bedroom outdoors. Enjoy the thrill and relish the hot summer nights with the one you love, because before you know it, summer will be a memory fond memory.

See What Happens When You Google Yourself!

And when I say "Googling yourself", I don't mean *wink, wink* "Googling yourself"....I am referring to the search engine Google.

Yes, ordinarily, I'm here talking about sex...but just hang on a moment while I relish this incredible discovery and I'll get to the sex, I promise!

Since I am an avid sweepstaker, I occasionally Google my own name to see if it appears on a winner's list somewhere, you know, for a tee shirt, water bottle or gift card. This evening when I typed in my name, I scrolled through the usual things I see: older winner's lists, articles I've written etc. But this time, I was shocked to find my name tied to a book! Yes, a real paper, ink and bound book!

I clicked on the link and there it was....my name....the title of one of my articles.....listed as reference material for chapter 17 of this book. The title is "Sexual Intimacy in Marriage" and it's written by William Cutrer, Sandra Glahn. My article used as reference in an actual book.....and a book with pretty good reviews as well.

I have been on cloud 9 since finding this little bright spot, this literary treasure and it has inspired me. I am going to (finally) start the book that has been stewing in my brain since I retired from being "The Sex Toy Lady". And when I'm finished, you'll be the first to know! After all, I'll need help finding someone to publish me!

But in the meantime, please have a peek at the article that was referenced in William Cutrer and Sandra Glahn's book. The Title is, "When He's Not in the Mood. Tips For dealing With Your Partner's Waning Libido". The article was posted just below this blog entry. Enjoy...and please, give me your feedback!

And while you read, I'll be here doing the *Happy Dance*!!!

Stay sexy......

Ms. E

When He's Not in the Mood...Tips For dealing With Your Partner's Waning Libido

I will never forget the first time my husband rejected my sexual advances. He hadn’t been in the mood lately so I slid my naked body into bed next to him and began to make my move. He began laughing, pushed me away and asked me what the heck I was doing! I was devastated and humiliated. Thinking he may have just been stressed or tired, I attempted to seduce him again a couple of weeks later. This time, I went all out and dressed in a silky baby doll nighty. I curled up next to him on the sofa and purred like a kitten while I whispered naughty things into his ear. Again, I was humiliated when he pulled away from me asked me why I was all dressed up.

I had always been under the impression that the male was supposed to be the sexual powerhouse, the one in the relationship who was insatiable. The woman was supposed to be the one turning down sex, that’s the way it had always been portrayed in books and on television! I was confused, sad and angry. My husband and I began fighting about sex every weekend and I would find myself retreating to the sofa and resorting to self pleasure.

It took dozens of arguments and literally years before my husband and I came to an agreement about our sex life. I made many mistakes along the way and hope that if you find yourself in this situation, you can learn from my experiences and resolve things more quickly and a lot less painfully.

If your husband rejects your sexual advances, don’t jump to conclusions. Unless you find a motel receipt, used condom and a thong in his car, he’s most likely not cheating. I immediately blamed myself and began crying hysterically that I was no longer pretty, sexy or desirable. I accused my husband of cheating, intentionally hurting me and yes, once, I actually accused him of being gay. If your man’s change in moods is something new, give it time as he may possibly be stressed out or simply not in the mood. If this is something that has been going on for a while, it is definitely time to explore other avenues and discover why he’s not in the mood.

It’s natural for a relationship to progress to some level of comfort. Sometimes your man may feel as if he no longer needs to try so hard to “conquer” you and therefore isn’t the sexual animal he used to be. There is also the possibility that he may have become somewhat bored with the routine. Try spicing things up by pulling him into the bathroom for a quickie, playing a sexy game or trying a bedroom toy or potion. You could also try role playing, going out on a date or simply having sex in other rooms of the house. The idea is to stir things up in order to excite and stimulate both of your libidos while breaking out of the mundane routines.

If you have a raging libido, as it was in my case, your man may feel as if he’s no longer in the driver’s seat. Some men feel the need to be the initiator when it comes to sex and may feel less masculine when you’re climbing all over him. Or, as it was with myself and my husband, he may be overwhelmed by your high sex drive and simply isn’t in the mood as often as you’d like. I nicknamed this “candy store syndrome”, because when you get all the free candy you can possibly eat, you lose your appetite for it after a while! Try stepping back a bit and allowing him to take control again. Stifling your own sex drive is frustrating and may seem unfair, but it’s a small price to pay to get your sex life back on track.

Are you finding yourselves in the mood but at different times and just can’t seem to get your libidos to jive? Negotiate and see if you can come to a happy medium. If you want sex 4 days a week and he is only interested in sex once every two weeks, see if you can make a standing date every Saturday and stick to it. Making the date will not only assure you get to have sex with your husband, but it will create anticipation. In the meantime give him little peeks of what’s to come over the weekend. Wear one of his shirts around the house, with nothing underneath. Offer him a massage or to wash his back when he showers. Cuddle up next to him while watching television and when you go to bed. You never know, you may get more than one intimate romp that week!

If, after trying some of the above suggestions, it seems he isn’t responding, you need to sit down and have a serious talk outside the bedroom. Express your feelings to him without making him feel guilty and see if you can get to the bottom of his waning libido. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him be in the mood more often. This in itself will play into his “fix it” mentality and may help immensely.

There may also be a physical reason for his lack of libido and a routine check-up with your family doctor may be in order. High blood pressure, diabetes, depression, medications and other things can cause symptoms relating to mood and sexual performance and should not be overlooked. It doesn’t hurt to be cautious when it comes to your partner’s health.

If all attempts to remedy the situation are failing and it is putting undue strain on your relationship, please seek professional counseling. You can find a reputable family counselor at a nearby mental health center, through a referral from your family physician or at your church. Talking about sex to a stranger isn’t comfortable or appealing to anyone, but if you value your relationship, it’s a good idea to give it a try.

Finally, every effort should be made not to obsess over the situation and let it effect the core relationship with your partner. Do activities the two of you enjoy together that are not related to sex. Play cards, enjoy a movie or cook a meal together. It is also crucial for you to remember that this isn’t your fault .It is important that you take care of yourself and not let the situation effect your self esteem. Pamper yourself, work out, buy a sexy new outfit or just talk to a close friend. Never forget that you are still a beautiful and desirable woman!

*Originally Published on Club Mom Inc

Add A Little "Quiver" To Your Valentines Night!

I am always one to want to try out new gizmos, gadgets and potions on the market and when a box of Durex Play's "Quiver" landed in my mailbox via a sweepstakes win, I couldn't wait to try it!

The box contains blister packs of lube circles that you pop in the freezer before use. For those of you who have kids, hide them far away from the ice cubes, popcicles and ice cream! Once frozen, these incredible little circular goodies can be used for personal lubrication or massage.

The package is very easy to open and the product isn't slippery upon first touch, so it's easy to handle. About the size of a half dollar and approximately half an inch thick, the product packs alot of lubricant into a small package. Plenty of slippery fun for an evening of play!

The Quiver frozen lube feels absolutely incredible! There is no "shocking" feel of cold, moreso a pleasant quiver of cool! The products melts sensuously, almost like an expensive chocolate truffle. The feeling is decadent, sexy and amazing!

The more the disc melts, the thinner the lubricant gets. It has staying power, lasting longer than most lubricants I have tried and there is no burning sensation on those oh-so-sensitive areas. He enjoyed the feeling of the melting disc as much as I did, so this isn't just something we ladies can keep to ourselves...this is a must share sensation.

As the lubricant starts to dry a bit, it's not nearly as sticky as most, however just one little drop of water brings the lubricant back to life! This makes one little disc last and last and last! Who doesn't love staying power?

There was no staining or odd lubricant scent lingering after use and clean up wasn't necessary, unless there was a fair amount on the hands....then all it took was a small drop of soap and it washed away with no residue.

You can find Durex Play's "Quiver" near the condoms and lubricants in most drug stores and other retailers. The price is very affordable and there are several discs in each box. I HIGHLY recommend this product...as a matter of fact, I'm adding this to my list of top 5 favorite playthings of all time. And after 13 years as an adult product distributor, that is saying a lot!

So if you would like to add a little something different to your Valentines night, forget all of the expensive products claiming to give you all of these "special sensations", try Durex "Quiver" and you'll have goosebumps from much more than that frozen little disc!

Ms. E Reviews Durex Play "Utopia" Female Arousal Gel

I have written previous articles on female arousal gels, however, they have always been mail order or "as seen on TV" products. With more and more arousal gels popping up on drug store and supermarket shelves, I thought it was time to start reviewing these products and give YOU the scoop on whether they hold true to their promises.

First up is "Utopia" Female Arousal Gel made my Durex. The product claims to have been "created and tested by women for women using a unique combination of ingerdients designed to stimulate, increase desire and bring you intense sensations."

*Sensations you can feel.
*Smoothe silk-like texture
*Water soluble and non-staining

The box also advises to apply and reapply until you find the effect you desire.

I gave the Utopia a test run to see if it held up to the name "Utopia". Yes, I could feel the sensations, though it wasn't an immediate "yowza", it felt cool, tingly and slightly arousing. The texture is very smoothe and (most importantly) not sticky. However, the effect didn't last long at all and definitely didn't give me the wow effect that I look for in a female arousal product. I liked the little pump dispenser....lubricant can sometimes be so messy, but with the way the product Fizzled out (for me personally), I should have hit that pump a few more times throughout lovemaking!! (Excuse me honey, need to reapply. Hold that thought babe, need to reapply)Eh.....so it was good, but I definitely wasn't in "Utopia"...maybe more of a "mediocre ahhhh".

The product does contain Arginine.....which is a portion of L-Arginine...but not the full chemical. Therefore you aren't going to find the long term effects of better vaginal blood flow and increased ability to create your own natural lubricant. You'll only find that in a superior product that includes L-Arginine, which has scientifically been proven to improve the way the vagina reacts to stimulation when used on a regular basis.

If you are looking for a fun little tingly lubricant to put an extra zing into foreplay and lovemaking, Durex's Utopia will definitely fit the bill. The price is reasonable and it's readily available at your local drug store. You'll need to play with the amount, though, in order to get the effect you're seeking.

If you are looking for a product to assist more with arousal, blood flow, orgasm intensity and a better solution to vaginal dryness, you may want to try something different.

All in all, I give this product 2 out of 5 stars. It's a decent product, but just don't expect mind blowing, earth shattering orgasms from this product. You're partner is just going to have to work a wee bit harder.

Until next time.....stay sexy!!

Recession Proof Romance For Gals Watching Their Wallets

Let's face it, times are changing and things aren't so good for many of us right now. It's not so easy for us to whip out the credit card and spend, spend, spend....we're counting change, saving as much as we can and putting alot of luxuries on the back burner. With Valentine's day fast approaching, romance is NOT something that should be put on hold. But you don't have to spend a bundle to give your man some romantic fun.

Here are my 10 romantic ideas for the gal on a budget..............

What is romantic to women and what is considered romantic to a man, is vastly different. While we may enjoy candle lit dinners, wine and roses, our men are enchanted by things that are completely out of our definition of "romantic". Try some of the tips below to woo the man in your life without breaking your budget.

1) Take some sexy snapshots: Grab a Poloroid instant camera or a digital camera and have your best gal pal capture the sexy you. Model some lingerie, swimwear or one of his shirts. You could take this opportunity to fulfill one of his fantasies and dress up as a school girl, beer wench or teacher.

2) Be naked: This is something very simple, but something that eludes most women. Men like seeing us naked....period. So forget the fact that you think your thighs are too big or your tummy needs trimmed, he doesn’t see what you do. He sees naked. He sees beautiful.

3) Have dinner in bed: This involves two of the things most men love most: Food and sex. So bring a lush dinner into the bedroom and don’t forget the strawberries and whipped topping for dessert.

4) Make him King for the night: Whatever it is that he enjoys, do it. Make his favorite dinner, let him control the television remote, give him a massage and YOU initiate the sex.

5) Movie night, his way: Let your man choose the movie for the night, along with the snacks and beverages. This may not seem significant to you, but this is something that will warm his heart.

6) Pack a special lunch for work: Not only does this involve food, it involves guy-envy. Imagine how he will feel when all of his male coworkers ogle his pot roast, potatoes, gravy and rolls then tell him what a lucky guy he is to have such an awesome woman at home.

7) Go for a drive and then park: Going for a nice, long drive can be romantic for us ladies. The drive will be romantic for him if you offer a little leg fondling and some steamy action when you find an away spot and park. Remember, park before you get steamy! Driving while horny could have serious consequences.

8) Try something he enjoys: Accompany him to a boat show, a wood worker’s work shop or a basketball game.....and smile. Showing interest in something he enjoys will score you major points in the "guy-romance" category.

9) Play a sexy game: Men like to play hard, whether it’s at sports or a card game. Combining sex with a game will appeal to his competitive nature and add a bit of fun to your sex life. Play strip chess or poker or make up your own game by putting sexual commands on the back of checker pieces.

10) Offer to wash his car: If your man isn’t a total freak about who washes his car, then take this opportunity to rev up his engine on a hot day. Put on your shortest shorts and a tank top or t-shirt. Let the water, soap suds and his imagination do the rest! (This only works in the summer or warmer climates! Shivering, wet Smurfs are not sexy!)

Doing The Deed, Part 2...The Secret Revealed

As promised, here is part two of my series on fellatio. In part one, I talked about the basics and some products to help things along a bit. But now for the technical part! Ah yes, let's discuss the mechanics of it all.....what to do, what not to do....and of course, the big SECRET. The one thing that will have him melting in the palm of your hand!

BE HANDS ON

Giving your partner oral pleasure doesn't mean you only need to use your mouth. Using your hands can greatly enhance the experience for him!

Stroking him and fondling his testicles while you pleasure him, gives him several sensations at one time. You can also make him more sensitive by encircling his penis in your fist and sliding your hand down to the base of the penis and holding it there, applying gentle pleasure. Your hand is acting like a c-ring, pulling back excess skin and slowing down blood flow which results in the penis becoming more rigid and the head of the penis much more sensitive. Holding this position for too long, however, can delay ejaculation. So unless your in it for the marathon, cramp-in-the-jaw and numb lips, you may want to alternate this technique with stroking and fondling.

BEDROOM EYES

I know you may feel silly doing this, but merely looking up at him while you are giving him oral pleasure will make him crazy. Many men enjoy watching their partner pleasure them (remember ladies, men are extremely visual creatures, you never look silly to them!) and it adds to their arousal. Just keep in mind to give him the bedroom eyes early on in the act...if you wait too long, his eyes will be closed tight and he'll be on another planet!

VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE

As I mentioned before, using your hands and switching things up, provides him with many different delicious sensations. You can also add to his pleasure by using your tongue, moving in different directions (up and down is good, using a circular motion is good too!) Use a twisting motion with your hands, make circles with your tongue, trace his entire length gently with your finger or tongue and pay close attention to his verbal cues. He'll let you know what feels the best.

You can also give him more unique sensations by sucking on ice or mints beforehand, filling your mouth with bubbling champagne or by using an enhancement gel or flavored lubricant (as mentioned in part one)

THAT'S THE SPOT

Everyone has a frenulem....it's that little piece of skin under our tongues. Men have two...the second being a bit further south. I like to call that sweet little bundle of sensation, "The F Spot." You'll see the little piece of skin at the head of the penis just where the upside down "V" shape meets the shaft. Pay very close attention to the little spot ladies! It contains a lot of wonderful nerve endings that can be as sensitive to him as your clitoris is to you!

Use the c-ring technique I explained earlier and use the thumb of your other hand to stimulate his F spot, running the length of the skin or in a massaging, circular motion. You can also stimulate the spot with your mouth and tongue. Stimulating this spot is much easier using the c-ring hold, since the F spot is on the underside of his penis. Remember, again, to pay close attention to his verbal and physical cues....this spot can sometimes be far too sensitive for some men and you may need to pace yourself, or back off completely.

THE PART WE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

Yes, I'm gonna go there.....someone has to! I'm just going to spit it out (no pun intended)...let's talk about swallowing. Some women do, some do it once in a while and some of us just gag at the mere thought. But I'm here to tell you, it's not required. Nope.....not at all. You're not going to lose your "wife/girlfriend of the year" badge or the "Kotex Real Women's Club" decoder ring! If you do swallow, great! If not, don't sweat it!

Though you are pleasuring him, swallowing still involves your body, and your body=your decision. And you wanna know something, 99% of men don't notice whether or not you swallow, nor do they care! But for those men in the 1%, there are ways around it simply by bringing him to climax with your hands (Remember that F spot!) or asking him (in your sexiest voice) to put it elsewhere. Hopefully, you get my drift without me having to use the terms for it. There's no need to something you prefer not to do, just be sure his trip to the end is an amazing ride!

THE BIG SECRET

You've been waiting on it, and some of you probably scrolled to the bottom of the blog right off the bat! But I'm here to give you the biggest secret to providing your partner with the absolute best oral sex he's ever had! He will think you're a Goddess! He'll marvel at your talent! He'll brag to his friends.......(or make your talent the biggest secret he's ever kept)

The big secret has nothing to do with technique, the magic of an amazing new product or even how good you are! It's simple....so simple, in fact, that you may not believe me....you may walk away from my blog thinking I'm full of it....but trust me.

The secret to the best fellatio he's ever experienced is....ENTHUSIASM! Yes ladies, get into it! Worship the very penis you are pleasuring! Treat it as if you've been crawling through the most dry and desolate desert and your desperately parched.....so thirsty you could die....and he is a cool, crisp, clear glass of water! He's the double hot fudge sundae you've been craving since starting that diet!

Moan, groan, giggle, look up at him, tell him how much you're enjoying it, growl, purr and just go nuts! Be an actress if you must, go for that Oscar! But being aroused to your absolute brink is the best way to do it. When you're fully aroused, I'm sure you're an animal.....let that animal go! Your sheer excitement and enthusiasm will arouse him in a way you can't achieve physically...it's all psychological! And aren't our brains the most sexual of all of our organs?

Give it a try......you'll be happy you did! Good luck ladies!

Down On Your Knees Ladies, Let's Do "The Deed"

Yes, I have been missing in action for a bit, but I'm back! And what a better way to start the new year than by talking about oral sex?!

**Just a little warning for those either at work or surrounded by little eyes, if you click any of the product links, it will take you to my adult shop. Product links are bold and in darker green.**


Whether you call it "blow job", "going down on", "giving head" or "earning shopping money", it all means the same thing..... fellatio....the act of pleasuring a man orally.


In this two part series, I'm going to talk to you about the art of pleasuring your partner in the most intimate way possible. We'll talk about about products to enhance the experience for him as well as tips, tricks and products to make the experience a pleasurable one for you as well. And at the end.....I'm going to tell you the ULTIMATE SECRET of giving the best fellatio he's ever had! Yes, readers, there IS a secret!



DROP THE PORN STAR IDEALS

The most important thing you can do for yourself and your partner is to drop the idea that you can perform, look like, or sound like a porn star. It's just not possible.....unless you have a camera crew, make up artists, lighting guys, hair dressers and someone to play cheesy music hiding in your closet and ready to go when you yell, "Action!" This act is only about the two of you and how to make him feel good! It's not about how long you can go before your jaw locks, what sexy positions you can contort your body into or even whether or not you swallow.



DON'T DREAD THE DEED!!

Though some women actually enjoy pleasuring their partner orally, there are some women who have problems with it for one reason or another.

Relaxing is absolutely crucial. Just as I said above, about not trying to be a porn star, you need to stop putting pressure on yourself. Trust me, there is no contest here and to him, it just feels good! Relax by having a glass of wine or cocktail, maybe taking a warm bath or shower (with him is a big plus), or sharing a massage. Take your time and make out a bit, not only is this not a contest, it's not a race either.

Making sure you are aroused is also a key to performing at your best. Just like preparing yourself for orgasm, being aroused before giving him oral pleasure allows you to concentrate not only on his pleasure, but the way you are feeling as well. If necessary, position yourself to where he can pleasure you orally or stimulate your clitoris while you perform oral sex on him. You can also use a strap-on type clitoral stimulator if you prefer to stay in a more submissive position. Hold off on your own orgasm as long as possible, the more aroused you are, the less inhibited you'll be.



"GAG ME WITH A......"

Contrary to what the pornography industry would have use believe, not all women are Linda Lovelace and have the capability of "deep throating" without gagging and retching. Yes, we can surprise ourselves sometimes and take much more than we ever thought we could, yet still other times, the slightest off-rhythm poke or movement can cause us to feel like we're going to lose our dinner!

Relaxing and being aroused helps with this problem a great deal. But for those of you who just can't seem to relax enough, there are a few of products I'd like to introduce you to.

First (drum roll, please) is Kama Sutra's Pleasure Balm. This product has been my best seller, to date. Though it is billed as a "stimulation gel", I discovered many years ago that it has an even better use. When applied to the very back of the tongue, after mere minutes, it numbs the gag reflex! It has a strong, but not unpleasant, mint flavor and lasts plenty long enough to get "the job" done. It only takes a small dollop to achieve numbness, so a container will last and pay for itself very quickly!

Secondly, I highly recommend this simple male masturbation sleeve. After he is aroused, slather him with a flavored lubricant and slide the sleeve over his penis and down toward the base. As you pleasure him orally, you can move the sleeve up and down and around in a twisting motion. This will more than mimic the feel of him being completely devoured and you can keep your dinner at the same time.

Finally, there is "Good Head." Sometimes a name says it all! This tasty gel can be used during oral sex to give him a cool, tingly sensation and provide you with a sweet taste at the same time. The bonus to this product is that afterward, when you have intercourse, he will feel icy cold to you and you will feel hot, hot, hot to him!



IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROL

If you're one of those ladies who doesn't mind, or even enjoys giving him oral satisfaction, then position isn't a huge factor in your intimate play. However, for women who have difficulty controlling their gag reflex, positioning is essential.

Position yourself and your partner to where you can control his movement and dept of penetration, will keep you from getting caught off guard and again, risk loosing your dinner. The submissive position, female on her knees with him standing or on his knees allows you greater control as long as he doesn't grab your ears, hair or back of your head. The better position is him lying on his back with you kneeling between his legs. Again, we know you get excited guys, but unless we invite you to do so, don't grab our heads and shove! Ladies, remember, you can always tie his wrists to the bed with some silk scarves or pantyhose! Plus, that will add a whole new dimension to your bedroom activities.

So just to recap.....relax, be aroused, use product if necessary and find the perfect position.....easy!!

In part 2 of my fellatio fest, I'll share some tricks to send him to the moon as well as the biggest and best kept secret to giving the best oral pleasure! Stay tuned!