Monday, November 3, 2008

Learning To Orgasm

A Sensual Guide For Women

Experiencing an orgasm should come easily and naturally. But for various reasons, many women have not yet experienced the pleasure of a clitoral climax, g-spot climax or both. This could be due to age and inexperience, being unable to relax, the lack of sexual self confidence or not being assertive enough in expressing their sexual needs and desires. Regardless as to the reasons why, a woman shouldn't allow this to go on one day longer! It's time to immerse yourself in the erotic world of orgasm.Here, I will guide you through each step you need to know your body, better communicate your sexual desires and experience the ultimate pleasure of orgasm.

Orgasms Do Your Body Good

Orgasms are much more than just your body's response to sexual stimulation. For centuries, physicians around the world have studied the effects of orgasm on our bodies and have concluded that not only do orgasms feel good, they are good for our bodies! During arousal and orgasm, our bodies release endorphins and other "feel good" chemicals. These chemicals are proven to reduce pain, ease stress and boost our immune system. In addition, the muscular contractions of an orgasm keep our pelvic muscles in tip top shape. Having strong pelvic muscles assists in supporting healthy pregnancies, reduces pelvic prolapse later in life and allows us to have even stronger orgasms more easily.

Clitoral Orgasm

The clitoral orgasm is considered the easiest to reach and generally the first type of orgasm a woman experiences. From the time we were children, we knew that touching ourselves "down there" felt good! But as adults, sometimes we feel too much pressure to experience an orgasm and therefore, unknowingly deny ourselves the pleasure.The clitoris is a flesh little nub that lies within our outer vaginal folds and at the top of our labia. When stimulated, the clitoris swells and gets firm, not unlike a man's penile tissue. The amount and type of stimulation required to achieve a clitoral orgasm varies from woman to woman. While some of us only require soft caresses, others need more direct pressure, firmer manipulation, pulling or tapping.

Experimenting with a lubricant and your finger, a vibrator or clitoral stimulator will help you to learn the type of stimulation you enjoy.As a clitoral orgasm builds, you'll feel a tingling sensation. That sensation will spread upward into the pelvis and downward, engulfing entire vaginal area. The sensation builds and builds until it releases into waves of warm, flowing pelvic contractions. However, not every orgasm will feel exactly the same. Some will seem to release softly while another will feel as if it's exploding out of your body. The strength and intensity of your orgasm will depend on many factors including your level of arousal, the type of stimulation you're using, your stress level and more.

G-Spot Orgasm

A recent popular women's magazine polled it's readers to learn just how many have achieved a g-spot climax. Not surprisingly, only a mere 30% reported that they had indeed experienced a g-spot orgasm. So if you have yet to find that elusive g-spot, know that you are not alone in your search.

The g-spot is a pea-sized area located just a few inches inside the vagina and on the front wall, above the pubic bone. When stimulated, this small area swells and fills with fluid in order to protect the delicate urinary tract that lies beneath. Once the g-spot begins to swell, the nerve endings become more sensitive and responsive to stimulation. Finding the g-spot is easier to do with a g-spot vibrator that has a specially designed, upward curved tip. When locating the g-spot with your partner, have them place a finger inside your vagina, with the palm of the hand upward. With the finger touching the front wall of the vagina, have your partner rub with a "come here" motion of the finger. Your partner will feel the smoothed surface become rough and bumpy as the g-spot swells. You will begin to feel as if you have to urinate. This is normal and exactly how it is supposed to feel. If it is bothersome to you, be sure and empty your bladder before you begin so that you're comfortable in knowing you don't have to use the restroom. Once you feel this tingling sensation, simply relax and allow it to happen. Soon the tingling sensation will warm and begin to take over your entire vagina and pelvic area. The sensations gradually build until suddenly your lower stomach and pelvic muscles quiver and then clamp down. You feel as if you're bearing down and pushing uncontrollably. Sometimes this is continuous and other times the muscles will loosen and then contract over and over again. In the meantime, a warm wave of sensations will resonate throughout your entire body, from head to toe.

The way a woman reacts to this overwhelmingly amazing sensation will vary. You may shake uncontrollably, scream out in utter delight, proclaim your love of a higher being or simply roll your eyes in ecstasy.During the throes of a g-spot climax, you may notice that you release fluid. Don't worry, you are not urinating. This is something known as female ejaculation. It doesn't happen to everyone, but some women do experience this rare phenomenon. While the fluid you release may contain only minute traces of urine, it is simply the fluid that had accumulated in the g-spot, the fluid that protects the urinary tract.

Relax And Fantasize

Now that you know what to expect when you have an orgasm, it's time to learn the steps that will allow you to achieve your orgasmic goals. Achieving an orgasm isn't just a physical journey, it's an emotional one as well. As women, it's takes a bit more that a southern breeze to get us aroused. We need relaxation, mood and a great deal of foreplay. Learning how to relax and get yourself in a sexy frame of mind is essential to having great sex and incredible orgasms. Sometimes we feel such overwhelming pressure to have an orgasm, that we end up robbing ourselves of the experience, therefore learning to relax is extremely important. Find what best relaxes you and use that to ready yourself for orgasm. Dim the lights and listen to music. Light candles and soak in a sensual bath . Now close your eyes and think about your partner or a sexy celebrity you'd love to bed. Go though each step of the steamy scenario in your mind. It's your imagination, so anything goes! Make love on a secluded beach. Tear the clothing off of that hot celebrity right there on the movie set! Imagine your every need being fulfilled by your partner while they wear nothing but a smile.If you aren't the imaginative type, simply lose yourself in a racey romance novel or watch an adventurous adult film . Once you learn how to relax and fantasize, you'll have mastered an important tool that will help lead you to having satisfying and fulfilling orgasms.

Mapping Erogenous Zones

Now that you have learned to relax and use fantasizing to spark your libido, take this opportunity to explore your body and find your erogenous zones. Caress your body, paying close attention to areas like hardened nipples, lower stomach, thighs, neck and collar bone. With your partner, use finger tips or a feather to seek out the spots that make your shiver or use a lotion that your partner can sensually lick off of your body. Experiment with light caresses, kisses, massaging and soft pinching to learn what responses your body gives you and what excites your senses most.Finding these sensitive areas of your body will help you create a map of erogenous zones that can be used to enhance masturbation, foreplay, sex and ultimately help you to reach orgasm more easily. Many times, as you linger on the brink of a climax, simply using these hot spots will send you over the edge.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation. You will not become reliant upon masturbation or sex toys. You'll always crave the touch of another human being. Masturbation is simply a tool. In fact, masturbation can the key to an exciting and satisfying sex life. Masturbation allows you to learn your body and it's climactic threshold. No longer will your partner be in the drivers seat, determining whether or not you achieve orgasm. You will know your body. You will know what feels good, the speed, strength and intensity of touch you need and ultimately what will drive you to an intense orgasm. You'll have the confidence to gently guide your partner through foreplay and sex. You'll know what to do to prolong that insatiable feeling of being on the brink of climax. You will learn how to orgasm on your own with no pressure and no time frames. Masturbation will open up a new and exciting erotic world!

Relax and fantasize. Find a comfortable place where you can stretch out and a place where you will not be disturbed. Relax on your bed, on the couch or in the bath. Keep a lubricant nearby so you may experience different sensations as you pleasure yourself. Use your fingers to explore your vagina. Gently rub your clitoris and labia. Try using different pressures and patterns. Slide your fingers inside your vagina. You can also purchase a vibrator to massage your clitoris and slide inside of your vagina for more intense sensations. If you're in the shower or bath, use a detachable shower head to concentrate a stream of water on your clitoris or use a waterproof vibrator to stimulate yourself. You could also try a strap on vibrator to stimulate your clitoris and leave your hands free to caress your erogenous zones. Take your time, breathe slowly and imagine someone else touching your body. Pay close attention to what feels the best and concentrate on repeating that. Let the feelings wrap you up and engulf your entire body in pleasure.

It may take a while to achieve orgasm the first time, so relish the feelings and sensations coursing through your body. There is no pressure now, no one else to please but yourself. Once you know how to bring yourself to orgasm, you can experiment with different positions like sitting upright, straddling a chair or lying on your stomach with a pillow between your legs.If you'd like to achieve a g-spot orgasm, stimulate your g-spot with lubricated fingers. This is done more easily in a sitting and slightly reclined position. Or you can use a g-spot vibrator that will help you reach your g-spot in the comfortable position of your choice. There are also strap on g-spot stimulators available that will leave your hands free to caress your body and more easily being yourself to climax. Again, take your time and relax, there is no pressure and you can practice for a long as you'd like. Remember to focus on what feels good and keep going with that until you are in the throes of an incredible orgasm. Later, you may even want to try a high tech model vibrator that has features to bring you to both clitoral and g-spot orgasm simultaneously.

Once you have learned to bring yourself to a satisfying orgasm, practice prolonging those delicious moments as you linger on the brink. See how long you can last there and then learn what will send you over the edge immediately like a sudden change in pressure on your clitoris or a firm pinch of your nipples. Doing this will help you when having sex with a partner. Practice makes perfect and will only make sex and orgasms better for you in the long run.After you have learned to orgasm through masturbation, you will have the confidence of knowing that you can do it. You will also possess an important tool that you can now use during sex with a partner. You'll relax in the knowledge that you'll never have to "fake it" again, as long as you communicate your needs to your partner.

Communicating With Your Partner

You now know how incredible it feels to have an orgasm and it's time to share it with your partner. Your partner's personality will determine just how you should guide them and how receptive they will be. You can subtly guide your partner with soft moans and words of approval to let them know they are on the right track. Be vocal and tell them, "That feels good.", "I love it when you kiss me there." or tell them to go harder, softer or faster. Allow your body to do some of the talking by arching your back, spreading your legs further apart or moving into another position.

Guide your partner's hands to the spots that feel the best and tell them what you like. Remember to relax, take your time and let the orgasm come naturally. If you don't orgasm the first time, it's alright! You can always try again and again. Don't allow pressure to consume you and ruin the amazing feeling of having sex and how wonderful your partner's body feels. If you need to, use your newly found confidence and take matters into your own hands. While your partner kisses and caresses your body or plays with your breasts, slide your hand down and rub your clitoris. Many men find this sexual confidence extremely arousing and will pay close attention to what you are doing. This not only will allow you to have an orgasm, it will give show him exactly what he can do to you as well.

Most importantly, let your partner know when you are about to climax. Don't be shy! The last thing you want, at this point, is a lost orgasm. Tell your partner not to stop, tell them you are about to climax. Scream, yell, moan, toss your head! This will keep the momentum going as well as giving your partner confidence in knowing that they are bringing you to an orgasm.

Orgasm And Oral Sex, The Ultimate Kiss

Oral sex can be one of the fastest and easiest ways your partner can give you a clitoral orgasm. Communication during oral sex is very important as well. Relax and fantasize. Close your eyes and take in each sensation. Allow your partner to lick and suck your clitoris, but tell them if you need it softer, harder, faster or slower. Use your body to speak to your partner. Elevate your hips to guide your partner to the right spots and move in rhythm with their motions. Run your fingers through their hair or grab their arms and shoulders.

Your partner can also stimulate your g-spot at the same time with their fingers or even a finger tip vibrator. This will bring a clitoral orgasm on more quickly and may even give you both types of orgasm simultaneously. It will also prime your g-spot, making it more sensitive and ready for intercourse.

Mutual oral sex can also be an amazing addition to your sexual experience. Performing oral sex on your partner while they perform on you will allow you to concentrate on their pleasure and not stress about whether or not you're going to orgasm. This also eases anxieties when performing oral sex in general because you are being sexually aroused at the same time and not concentrating solely on what you are doing. This will also add to your enthusiasm and urgency which will be arousing to the both of you.

Orgasm And Intercourse

Many women have never had an orgasm during intercourse. It is possible, but it takes a great deal of practice and trail and error. Arousal is the most important factor when trying to achieve an orgasm during intercourse. Allow plenty of time for foreplay, concentrating on all of your erogenous zones. Use clitoral stimulation and g-spot stimulation before intercourse to bring yourself close to the brink of orgasm.

Positioning is the next important step. Since you have found your g-spot, you'll need to experiment with various positions until you find the ones that give you the greatest g-spot stimulation. Some positions that maximize g-spot stimulation are woman on top, woman on all fours with him entering from behind or woman on her back with legs and hips slightly elevated and him kneeling between your legs. Since every person is different in body build, you may need to reposition yourself or try a different position altogether. Have fun trying various positions yourselves or purchase a book of sexual positions and try a different page every night!

Remember to relax and just enjoy what you're doing. Worrying about whether or not you're going to climax will do nothing but ruin what might be amazing sex. With diligence and practice, soon you'll be in orgasmic Heaven each and every time you have sex!

Orgasm Stoppers

If, after trying the above measures, you're still having problems acheiving an orgasm, it may be time to see if there are any factors in your life that may be preventing it from happening.Stress is the most common reason for not being able to relax and acheive orgasm. Take measures to reduce the stress in your life. Take on a little less at work, take a vacation, or hire a babysitter to help with your children. Exercise, yoga and meditation can also be great stress relievers. If you are simply having trouble getting in the mood, try a lubricant with arousal enhancing properties or a libido cream.

Other factors that can effect orgasm are depression, menopause, illnesses and medications like birth control pills, anti-depressants, cold medicines and narcotics. These things can effect your ability to become aroused, your body's response to arousal and your ability to acheive orgasm. If you have continued difficulties in these areas, see you doctor. Having a rich and satisfying sex life is very important for your relationships as well as your own health and well being.


Melissa said...

I can't wait for Chris to get home! ;)

Iris said...

Thank you for this article. I can't wait to put it to use.